There's a famous book on "100 Books to Read Before Death" that you've probably never heard of: Whittaker Chambers' "Witness". (Not the Harrison Ford movie.)
Chambers was one of those quiet people who see quite clearly, before most people do, that Western civilization is headed for a rough downhill slide. He joined the underground Communist movement in the 1930's, when people thought it was cool - long before Ronald Reagan helped expose the "agrarian reformers" for what they are. A serious atheist, he got shaken by God and repented - became a Quaker. He spent 10 years as a Time editor, then sorrowfully informed on his former comrades. This quote of his always gets me:
"No one knows so well as the ex-Communist the character of the conflict, and of the enemy, or shares so deeply the same power of faith and willingness to stake his life on his beliefs. For no other has seen so deeply into the total nature of the evil with which Communism threatens mankind. Counterrevolution and conservatism have little in common. In the struggle against Communism the conservative is all but helpless. For that struggle cannot be fought, much less won, or even understood, except in terms of total sacrifice. And the conservative is suspicious of sacrifice; he wishes first to conserve, above all what he is and what he has. You cannot fight against revolutions so."
There's a funny truth about change - no matter what you tell yourself, you know when you're all in and when you're still just playing around. (For more clarification on "not playing games", listen to an Andrew Quigley sermon.) You know it's death when you try to compromise: "Well, I'll just listen to the snake for a little bit." Whether it's applying yourself to work or to really shaving off pounds on that diet you've always meant to do, it takes time and frustration and some suffering. Sometimes, a lot of suffering. And nobody wants to hear that.
Diets are horrible. You don't get to eat what you want. You have to go trudge around a hill or a track or get on that exercise bike, whether you feel like it or not - because if you don't, those unwanted pounds hurl themselves at you and latch on. Every once in a while, it's really enjoyable - when you hit a goal, when you fit into those pants, the joy of having a friend say "you've lost some weight! You look good!" SCORE!!! you think. "Every day should be like this!" That's not reality.
Communism got popular, and still is, because people want to refuse to see sin for the horrible, degrading, grimy fact that Adam and Eve landed us in centuries ago. We'd all LIKE to believe that our fellow man is really good inside. We'd LIKE to believe that our neighbors will not lie, cheat, steal, or inform on us - or vice versa - and that we will always be true to our ideals. Weight is the same. A little fudge here, a little lack of exercise there, a donut or three in the mornings - "so shall thy calories come on thee like a robber, and thy want like an armed man".
Okay, so the battle against pounds is not that grim, and there is joy along the way! But it is true that if you "faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small". (Proverbs 24) God is Lord of many small beginnings, it's true - trodging is a learned art. When battling anything - even as earthly as the body - it's good to pray for help at the point of the fridge or the prison gate. But wishing to win and also to conserve comfort is a laughable lie.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
The Benefits of Suffering
It's one of those days today, when all the divine signposts are pointing the same way, and I really don't want to go down their suggested path.
C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain" does indeed explore the question of a good God in a horrible world, but one of the chapters particularly explores why it's necessary for humans to grasp pain's necessity. Mostly, Lewis knows man's tendency - to constantly ascribe issues to forces outside of himself, and make them the problem, instead of looking inward for the issues and upward for the solution.
His chapter on "Fallen Man" reminds me why I don't read the book that often, but the chapters on "Human Pain" contain wisdom beyond the popular quote, "[Pain] is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world". There's the graphic description of real childhood issues: "the bitter, prolonged rage at every thwarting, the burst of passionate tears, the black, Satanic wish to kill or die rather than to give in". An honest adult, reading that, will remember a time when that desire to act childlike (in that sense) has resurfaced, and not too long ago. For me, it was just today.
God often promises things that I'd rather see than hear about, because I'd rather receive and go on about 'my business' than ask, only to hear Him say, "that would be good but this is better for you right now". Lewis speaks about this 'second level' convincingly, and it's at this moment that I wish he were not so articulate. "If the first and lowest operation of pain shatters the illusion that all is well, the second shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us...What then can God do in our interests but make 'our own life' less agreeable to us, and take away the plausible sources of false happiness?"
Lewis is right in explaining that at the back of our minds lurks the false hope in a God who acts more like a "senile benevolence" who likes to see His creatures just enjoying themselves. That would mean He must ignore our sin and the effects of sin on our world, just as we would like to ignore it and walk on in happy ignorance. We would rather not be made 'perfect by suffering', and our Lord Himself asked to be let off of the most painful experience on this earth. Christ's equal wish to submit in obedience to the Father's will is not as palatable. If left to myself, I would act as the puppy in Lewis' illustration: "Let Him but sheathe the sword for a moment and I behave like a puppy when the hated bath is over - I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness".
Confusion between God's methods and God's intent makes it hard to distinguish between His use of pain and suffering, to bring us to Himself, and the fact that they are not good in and of themselves. Hence the dark voice that whispers to us, 'well, if suffering is so great, why not do God's work for Him, and use it on others instead of waiting for them to use it on us?' "What is good in any painful experience is, for the sufferer, his submission to the will of God, and, for the spectators, the compassion aroused and the acts of mercy to which it leads...Now the fact that God can make complex good out of simple evil does not excuse - though by mercy it may save - those who do the simple evil." And then the kicker: "If you do [Satan's] work, you must be prepared for his wages."
So when I took a break and picked up Charles Spurgeon's "Power in the Blood", it was really to avoid more points on the benefits of the "rebel will" being broken to God's purposes. The first chapter's title destroyed that hope: "Healing by the Stripes of Jesus". Then the innocent pen on my dresser: "Do not be afraid...." (Luke 12:32) That's where I go when I'd like to ignore God's signposts - into a tailspin of fear, control, and mastery of my own course. All useless nonsense, but a powerful temptation. The cure? Keep reading, and resist. It will flee soon. Temptation doesn't stick around for rejection. That's why God's love is so amazing.
C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain" does indeed explore the question of a good God in a horrible world, but one of the chapters particularly explores why it's necessary for humans to grasp pain's necessity. Mostly, Lewis knows man's tendency - to constantly ascribe issues to forces outside of himself, and make them the problem, instead of looking inward for the issues and upward for the solution.
His chapter on "Fallen Man" reminds me why I don't read the book that often, but the chapters on "Human Pain" contain wisdom beyond the popular quote, "[Pain] is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world". There's the graphic description of real childhood issues: "the bitter, prolonged rage at every thwarting, the burst of passionate tears, the black, Satanic wish to kill or die rather than to give in". An honest adult, reading that, will remember a time when that desire to act childlike (in that sense) has resurfaced, and not too long ago. For me, it was just today.
God often promises things that I'd rather see than hear about, because I'd rather receive and go on about 'my business' than ask, only to hear Him say, "that would be good but this is better for you right now". Lewis speaks about this 'second level' convincingly, and it's at this moment that I wish he were not so articulate. "If the first and lowest operation of pain shatters the illusion that all is well, the second shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us...What then can God do in our interests but make 'our own life' less agreeable to us, and take away the plausible sources of false happiness?"
Lewis is right in explaining that at the back of our minds lurks the false hope in a God who acts more like a "senile benevolence" who likes to see His creatures just enjoying themselves. That would mean He must ignore our sin and the effects of sin on our world, just as we would like to ignore it and walk on in happy ignorance. We would rather not be made 'perfect by suffering', and our Lord Himself asked to be let off of the most painful experience on this earth. Christ's equal wish to submit in obedience to the Father's will is not as palatable. If left to myself, I would act as the puppy in Lewis' illustration: "Let Him but sheathe the sword for a moment and I behave like a puppy when the hated bath is over - I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness".
Confusion between God's methods and God's intent makes it hard to distinguish between His use of pain and suffering, to bring us to Himself, and the fact that they are not good in and of themselves. Hence the dark voice that whispers to us, 'well, if suffering is so great, why not do God's work for Him, and use it on others instead of waiting for them to use it on us?' "What is good in any painful experience is, for the sufferer, his submission to the will of God, and, for the spectators, the compassion aroused and the acts of mercy to which it leads...Now the fact that God can make complex good out of simple evil does not excuse - though by mercy it may save - those who do the simple evil." And then the kicker: "If you do [Satan's] work, you must be prepared for his wages."
So when I took a break and picked up Charles Spurgeon's "Power in the Blood", it was really to avoid more points on the benefits of the "rebel will" being broken to God's purposes. The first chapter's title destroyed that hope: "Healing by the Stripes of Jesus". Then the innocent pen on my dresser: "Do not be afraid...." (Luke 12:32) That's where I go when I'd like to ignore God's signposts - into a tailspin of fear, control, and mastery of my own course. All useless nonsense, but a powerful temptation. The cure? Keep reading, and resist. It will flee soon. Temptation doesn't stick around for rejection. That's why God's love is so amazing.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Pin's 2012 Book List
Hopefully, this list will become famous - more so than the fictional BBC list, featuring both "Chronicles of Narnia" and "The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe". Unnecessarily raunchy "classic" literature has been weeded out - stuff blacklisted 100 years ago - and focused on those Must Reads for which I've never made time. Since I'd have to read 3 classic books per week to finish in a year, I'm giving myself 3 years. One book per week-and-a-half, with an annual 2 weeks off for good behavior. Some are "shoulds", some are "wants", some are "weird selection from Mum's bookshelves", but they're nearly all upwards of 50 years old...and some are very long.
1. Pudd'nhead Wilson - Mark Twain
2. Ulysses - James Joyce
3. Le Morte D'Arthur
4. Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift
5. John Calvin's Institutes - John Calvin
6. The Voyage Out - Virginia Woolf
7. Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes
8. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
9. The Ox-Bow Incident - Walter Van Tilburg Clark
10. The Red Badge of Courage - Stephen Crane
11. The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman - Ernest Gaines
12. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
13. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
14. Lord Jim- Joseph Conrad
15. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
16. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
17. The Death of Artemio Cruz - Carlos Fuentes
18. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
19. Death in Venice - Thomas Mann
20. The Stranger - Albert Camus
21. Cry, the Beloved Country - Alan Paton
22. All Quiet On The Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque
23. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
24. Madame Curie - Eve Curie
25. Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee - Dee Brown
26. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - Benjamin Franklin
27. The Republic - Plato
28. Democracy in America - Alexis de Toqueville
29. Wealth of Nations- Adam Smith
30. Gulag Archipelago - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (3)
31. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
32. The Origin of Species - Charles Darwin
33. Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
34. Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller
35. The Complete Poetry of John Donne - John Donne
36. The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
37. Dracula - Bram Stoker
38. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
39. War & Peace - Leo Tolstoy
40. Phineas Finn - Anthony Trollope
41. The Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
42. Tortured For Christ - Richard Wurmbrand
43. A Man Called Peter - Catherine Marshall
44. The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury
45. McGuffey's Fifth Eclectic Reader - New American Library
46. In Six Days - edited by John Ashton
47. The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
48. East of Eden - John Steinbeck
49. The Iliad - Homer
50. Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea - Jules Verne
51. Invisble Man - Ralph Ellison
52. The Aeneid - Virgil
53. Paradise Lost - John Milton
54. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass - Frederick Douglass
55. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
56. My Name is Asher Lev - Chaim Potok
57. She - Rider Haggard
58. The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
59. Winnie-the-Pooh - A.A. Milne
60. The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett
61. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
62. The Red and the Black - Roger Stendal
63. The Mill on the Floss - George Eliot
64. Rob Roy - Sir Walter Scott
65. The Book of Mormon - Joseph Smith
66. Dombey and Son - Charles Dickens
67. Don Juan - George Gordon Byron
68. Kristin Lavransdatter - Sigrid Undset
69. Mary Poppins - P.L. Travers
70. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
71. Metamorphoses - Ovid
72. Moll Flanders - Daniel Defoe
73. Life of Samuel Johnson - James Boswell
74. The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
75. The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling - Henry Fielding
76. Confessions of an English Opium Eater - Thomas de Quincy
77. Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie
78. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Winifred Watson
79. Drinking With Calvin & Luther - Jim West
80. An Incomplete Education - Judy Jones & William Wilson
81. A History of Ireland - Mike Cronin
82. The Nibelungenlied - Heritage Press Translation
83. The Travels of Marco Polo - Werner Forman & Cottie Burland
84. Simon Schama's History of Britain (3)
85. Desiring God - John Piper
86. Jews, God and History - Max Dimont
87. David Livingstone - T. Banks Maclachlan
88. Thomas Guthrie - Oliphant Smeaton
89. What the Bible Teaches About Marriage - Anthony Selvaggio
90. The True Bounds of Christian Freedom - Samuel Bolton
91. From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya - Ruth Tucker
92. The Excellent Wife - Martha Peace
93. Death in the City - Francis Schaeffer
94. He Is There and He Is Not Silent - Francis Schaeffer
95. The World of Patience Gromes - Scott C. Davis
96. Life's Handicap - Rudyard Kipling
97. The Fisherman's Lady - George MacDonald
98. A Light in the Window - Jan Karon
99. The Face Is Familiar - Ogden Nash
100. The Man Who Never Was - Ewen Montagu
1. Pudd'nhead Wilson - Mark Twain
2. Ulysses - James Joyce
3. Le Morte D'Arthur
4. Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift
5. John Calvin's Institutes - John Calvin
6. The Voyage Out - Virginia Woolf
7. Don Quixote - Miguel de Cervantes
8. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
9. The Ox-Bow Incident - Walter Van Tilburg Clark
10. The Red Badge of Courage - Stephen Crane
11. The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman - Ernest Gaines
12. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
13. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
14. Lord Jim- Joseph Conrad
15. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
16. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
17. The Death of Artemio Cruz - Carlos Fuentes
18. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
19. Death in Venice - Thomas Mann
20. The Stranger - Albert Camus
21. Cry, the Beloved Country - Alan Paton
22. All Quiet On The Western Front - Erich Maria Remarque
23. Frankenstein - Mary Shelley
24. Madame Curie - Eve Curie
25. Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee - Dee Brown
26. The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin - Benjamin Franklin
27. The Republic - Plato
28. Democracy in America - Alexis de Toqueville
29. Wealth of Nations- Adam Smith
30. Gulag Archipelago - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (3)
31. Meditations - Marcus Aurelius
32. The Origin of Species - Charles Darwin
33. Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe
34. Death of a Salesman - Arthur Miller
35. The Complete Poetry of John Donne - John Donne
36. The Divine Comedy - Dante Alighieri
37. Dracula - Bram Stoker
38. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
39. War & Peace - Leo Tolstoy
40. Phineas Finn - Anthony Trollope
41. The Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
42. Tortured For Christ - Richard Wurmbrand
43. A Man Called Peter - Catherine Marshall
44. The Martian Chronicles - Ray Bradbury
45. McGuffey's Fifth Eclectic Reader - New American Library
46. In Six Days - edited by John Ashton
47. The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
48. East of Eden - John Steinbeck
49. The Iliad - Homer
50. Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea - Jules Verne
51. Invisble Man - Ralph Ellison
52. The Aeneid - Virgil
53. Paradise Lost - John Milton
54. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass - Frederick Douglass
55. The Art of War - Sun Tzu
56. My Name is Asher Lev - Chaim Potok
57. She - Rider Haggard
58. The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
59. Winnie-the-Pooh - A.A. Milne
60. The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett
61. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
62. The Red and the Black - Roger Stendal
63. The Mill on the Floss - George Eliot
64. Rob Roy - Sir Walter Scott
65. The Book of Mormon - Joseph Smith
66. Dombey and Son - Charles Dickens
67. Don Juan - George Gordon Byron
68. Kristin Lavransdatter - Sigrid Undset
69. Mary Poppins - P.L. Travers
70. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
71. Metamorphoses - Ovid
72. Moll Flanders - Daniel Defoe
73. Life of Samuel Johnson - James Boswell
74. The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
75. The History of Tom Jones, A Foundling - Henry Fielding
76. Confessions of an English Opium Eater - Thomas de Quincy
77. Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie
78. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day - Winifred Watson
79. Drinking With Calvin & Luther - Jim West
80. An Incomplete Education - Judy Jones & William Wilson
81. A History of Ireland - Mike Cronin
82. The Nibelungenlied - Heritage Press Translation
83. The Travels of Marco Polo - Werner Forman & Cottie Burland
84. Simon Schama's History of Britain (3)
85. Desiring God - John Piper
86. Jews, God and History - Max Dimont
87. David Livingstone - T. Banks Maclachlan
88. Thomas Guthrie - Oliphant Smeaton
89. What the Bible Teaches About Marriage - Anthony Selvaggio
90. The True Bounds of Christian Freedom - Samuel Bolton
91. From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya - Ruth Tucker
92. The Excellent Wife - Martha Peace
93. Death in the City - Francis Schaeffer
94. He Is There and He Is Not Silent - Francis Schaeffer
95. The World of Patience Gromes - Scott C. Davis
96. Life's Handicap - Rudyard Kipling
97. The Fisherman's Lady - George MacDonald
98. A Light in the Window - Jan Karon
99. The Face Is Familiar - Ogden Nash
100. The Man Who Never Was - Ewen Montagu
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Mercenary For Christ
Drinking coffee and reading the Gospel of Luke would be therapeutic this morning, I thought. And then I came across this passage: (Luke 14)
"25 Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— 29 lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? 31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. 33 So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
Sure, I've heard this before and thought 'Yes, yes, I need to remember the sacrifice required of disciples' - as I go on about my work of the day. It's not so much that I counted the cost of the kingdom before I entered; I saw the cost of NOT getting into the kingdom, and it scared the hell (literally) out of me, and I came to Him trembling. Rather like Peter - "Lord, where else shall we go to hear the word of truth?"
Mercenaries are paid soldiers - those who see the benefit of becoming paid assassins. They have no loyalty to any particular country or group, and would cheerfully pack a bag of weapons for whichever group pays them the most. Real soldiers, who spend their lives in defense of their people, their homes and their principles, in order to build something great, despise mercenaries to the bottom of their soul. It's rather like seeing a prostitute with regular customers, claim to be a 'wife'. Any real wife who'd made a real commitment would want to throw up, hearing that kind of nonsense. (For a modern-day example, see Steven Seagal's contempt in Under Siege for the kid who joins the Navy 'on the college program'.)
Sometimes, it hits me that I'm acting like a mercenary for Christ. Unlike a real soldier, I grouse at doing exercises that will prepare me for real battle. Unlike a real soldier, I complain that the rewards aren't big enough, and don't believe my commander(s) when it's said that our rewards in Heaven will be great. I want rewards NOW. I want to be paid now. If Christ really did require me to leave lands and family for Him, simply so that He might be honored, He'd hear about it from me. I'd be like the Persistent Widow, only not in a just cause - solely for my own benefit. Preparing for the Sabbath often finds me wondering "why should I? What's in it for me? Do I have to serve....again?! Didn't You say that Your burden would be light?!"
My sister Karen gave me a plaid pillow to hug when I have these momentary feelings. Taken from Calvin & Hobbes, the script reads - "Haven't I suffered enough?! Where will it all end?" She didn't mean for me to do the Martyr Walk through life, only to hug it (or throw it) when the mood is upon me, and go on about my life after laughing at my own dramatic nature.
DJ calls it "the one-eyed Me Monster". Like the Cyclops, it's ugly and has only a single focus: Self. Yes, intellectually, every Christian knows that one ought to be about Kingdom Business, serve others more than you do yourself, and sacrifice as He did. Quite often, we're made to give up small comforts rather than great things. Like Naaman (II Kings 5), it seems harder to give up pride and dip into a silly river for seven silly turns because a silly prophet told us, rather than be asked to do "some great thing" in order that our spiritual leprosy can be healed. That way, we could say, "Sure, the leprosy went away, but guess what I had to do for it to disappear!" We could be proud of our own contribution then.
So where does that passage in Luke lead? Should I hop in the Red Roadrunner, wave a cheery goodbye to family and friends, and tell them "I'm off to Africa to serve Jesus"? (Should I also bring that worthy continent my unwanted leftovers?) If every one of us would "forsake all that he has", who on earth would be left to build churches, extend hospitality, have bread to break with others, or send aid to our overseas workers?
The previous "Parable of the Great Supper" points out a common human flaw: excuses. The new oxen, the new wife, the new land is taking up all the thoughts and energies of those invited to the Great Supper. 'Put those aside', Jesus says daily, 'and look at Me. All these things WILL be added unto you. I gave them in the first place.'
"25 Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— 29 lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? 31 Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace. 33 So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple."
Sure, I've heard this before and thought 'Yes, yes, I need to remember the sacrifice required of disciples' - as I go on about my work of the day. It's not so much that I counted the cost of the kingdom before I entered; I saw the cost of NOT getting into the kingdom, and it scared the hell (literally) out of me, and I came to Him trembling. Rather like Peter - "Lord, where else shall we go to hear the word of truth?"
Mercenaries are paid soldiers - those who see the benefit of becoming paid assassins. They have no loyalty to any particular country or group, and would cheerfully pack a bag of weapons for whichever group pays them the most. Real soldiers, who spend their lives in defense of their people, their homes and their principles, in order to build something great, despise mercenaries to the bottom of their soul. It's rather like seeing a prostitute with regular customers, claim to be a 'wife'. Any real wife who'd made a real commitment would want to throw up, hearing that kind of nonsense. (For a modern-day example, see Steven Seagal's contempt in Under Siege for the kid who joins the Navy 'on the college program'.)
Sometimes, it hits me that I'm acting like a mercenary for Christ. Unlike a real soldier, I grouse at doing exercises that will prepare me for real battle. Unlike a real soldier, I complain that the rewards aren't big enough, and don't believe my commander(s) when it's said that our rewards in Heaven will be great. I want rewards NOW. I want to be paid now. If Christ really did require me to leave lands and family for Him, simply so that He might be honored, He'd hear about it from me. I'd be like the Persistent Widow, only not in a just cause - solely for my own benefit. Preparing for the Sabbath often finds me wondering "why should I? What's in it for me? Do I have to serve....again?! Didn't You say that Your burden would be light?!"
My sister Karen gave me a plaid pillow to hug when I have these momentary feelings. Taken from Calvin & Hobbes, the script reads - "Haven't I suffered enough?! Where will it all end?" She didn't mean for me to do the Martyr Walk through life, only to hug it (or throw it) when the mood is upon me, and go on about my life after laughing at my own dramatic nature.
DJ calls it "the one-eyed Me Monster". Like the Cyclops, it's ugly and has only a single focus: Self. Yes, intellectually, every Christian knows that one ought to be about Kingdom Business, serve others more than you do yourself, and sacrifice as He did. Quite often, we're made to give up small comforts rather than great things. Like Naaman (II Kings 5), it seems harder to give up pride and dip into a silly river for seven silly turns because a silly prophet told us, rather than be asked to do "some great thing" in order that our spiritual leprosy can be healed. That way, we could say, "Sure, the leprosy went away, but guess what I had to do for it to disappear!" We could be proud of our own contribution then.
So where does that passage in Luke lead? Should I hop in the Red Roadrunner, wave a cheery goodbye to family and friends, and tell them "I'm off to Africa to serve Jesus"? (Should I also bring that worthy continent my unwanted leftovers?) If every one of us would "forsake all that he has", who on earth would be left to build churches, extend hospitality, have bread to break with others, or send aid to our overseas workers?
The previous "Parable of the Great Supper" points out a common human flaw: excuses. The new oxen, the new wife, the new land is taking up all the thoughts and energies of those invited to the Great Supper. 'Put those aside', Jesus says daily, 'and look at Me. All these things WILL be added unto you. I gave them in the first place.'
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Beauty of Time
Time is such an amazing commodity when invested well!
If it's one thing on which Reformed Christians focus well, it's sin. Andrew Quigley preached an amazing sermon series at a Horn Creek conference on the stunningly underrepresented topic of sin, and it go me thinking. Humans have wandered the desert landscape of a sin-saturated earth for thousands of years, blazing away a small fraction of their lives in either cleaning up from, or digging deeper into, the nature of Adam & Eve's attempt at a shortcut. Jesus didn't take it from Satan in the desert, but they wanted wisdom and power faster than God promised. And boy, did they pass on their shortcutting habits!
There's a passage in C.S. Lewis' That Hideous Strength that indicates Merlin's bi-polar society - he can go from blubbering like a child to sitting calmly without any embarrassment whatsoever. Lewis knew that a split society is marginally effective. What he would have deplored is our current desperation to be continually fractured, in a frantic effort to 'make much of time'.
Making yourself be still can be a hard thing - yoga classes call it being 'centred'. But without stillness, the gift of time can be turned into a Mansfield Park array of "a quick succession of busy nothings". And that means you spend your life chasing your tail, with others to clear away the damage as you lumber through fences and signposts and china shops, like a blind bull. As Ezra and Nehemiah found out, clearing away the rubbish of a city's broken wall takes an enormous amount of focused energy - and time. Let alone building a new wall.
Austen and Lewis knew that a life spent in swift toil in service of the Enemy was nothing more than time lost. They outline the heartbreaking lack of preparation of children by parents, focus spent on fripperies, people eating and drinking and making merry til death. And then the contrast, of those who have learned the wisdom of avoidance of 'bad company', who value true friendship in strange packages (such as Miss Bates!), and wise financial investments in the eternal. This thrift pays dividends, such as a tree made into a wardrobe that opens into a magic world.
We all know that to invest in certain things, such as exercise and Eating Right, pays dividends. You can force yourself out the door to puff around the block in the comforting reflection that it's good for your heart and burns calories. Burning brain calories is a bit harder, and less visible - and much more satisfying. Investment in the invisible often pays well.
Good time spent means preparation - I can now pack for a week-long trip in an hour. Everything's been put away in its place, or in a bag. I can type out a review of a book in half a day instead of five days (like in my freshman year of college) because I've done it 200 times before. I can have a conversation about the gospel and be convincing, because I've fallen on my face trying to present it 100 times before. I can plot the course of a film because I've seen 1,000 of them. (That's not really something to be proud of!) I can walk into a house and figure out how to approach the difficult dog inside of 10 minutes because I've petsit at 30 different places. But each time, I have to allow time to figure out what will be puzzling, and make mistakes.
Thank God, in heaven we will have all the time in the world, and none of it will be wasted on the world. :)
If it's one thing on which Reformed Christians focus well, it's sin. Andrew Quigley preached an amazing sermon series at a Horn Creek conference on the stunningly underrepresented topic of sin, and it go me thinking. Humans have wandered the desert landscape of a sin-saturated earth for thousands of years, blazing away a small fraction of their lives in either cleaning up from, or digging deeper into, the nature of Adam & Eve's attempt at a shortcut. Jesus didn't take it from Satan in the desert, but they wanted wisdom and power faster than God promised. And boy, did they pass on their shortcutting habits!
There's a passage in C.S. Lewis' That Hideous Strength that indicates Merlin's bi-polar society - he can go from blubbering like a child to sitting calmly without any embarrassment whatsoever. Lewis knew that a split society is marginally effective. What he would have deplored is our current desperation to be continually fractured, in a frantic effort to 'make much of time'.
Making yourself be still can be a hard thing - yoga classes call it being 'centred'. But without stillness, the gift of time can be turned into a Mansfield Park array of "a quick succession of busy nothings". And that means you spend your life chasing your tail, with others to clear away the damage as you lumber through fences and signposts and china shops, like a blind bull. As Ezra and Nehemiah found out, clearing away the rubbish of a city's broken wall takes an enormous amount of focused energy - and time. Let alone building a new wall.
Austen and Lewis knew that a life spent in swift toil in service of the Enemy was nothing more than time lost. They outline the heartbreaking lack of preparation of children by parents, focus spent on fripperies, people eating and drinking and making merry til death. And then the contrast, of those who have learned the wisdom of avoidance of 'bad company', who value true friendship in strange packages (such as Miss Bates!), and wise financial investments in the eternal. This thrift pays dividends, such as a tree made into a wardrobe that opens into a magic world.
We all know that to invest in certain things, such as exercise and Eating Right, pays dividends. You can force yourself out the door to puff around the block in the comforting reflection that it's good for your heart and burns calories. Burning brain calories is a bit harder, and less visible - and much more satisfying. Investment in the invisible often pays well.
Good time spent means preparation - I can now pack for a week-long trip in an hour. Everything's been put away in its place, or in a bag. I can type out a review of a book in half a day instead of five days (like in my freshman year of college) because I've done it 200 times before. I can have a conversation about the gospel and be convincing, because I've fallen on my face trying to present it 100 times before. I can plot the course of a film because I've seen 1,000 of them. (That's not really something to be proud of!) I can walk into a house and figure out how to approach the difficult dog inside of 10 minutes because I've petsit at 30 different places. But each time, I have to allow time to figure out what will be puzzling, and make mistakes.
Thank God, in heaven we will have all the time in the world, and none of it will be wasted on the world. :)
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A Useful Occupation
Most of us, at some time or another, wish we didn't have a job. Adam wished that as soon as weeds started to grow in Paradise, no doubt.
But consider what life would really be like if we had nothing that we HAD to do. What would happen to our time? Would we spend endless hours searching for amusement among each other, spend time making social calls and hosting dinner parties with no real purpose, other than to while away the long hours and keep boredom at bay?
Anna Karenina is one of my favourite books - not because of the horrors of the slow moral decay of a woman given to adultery, but because of the wealth of detail that Tolstoy uses to describe a privileged people. The noble Russians under the czars were apparently a nation of playboys, and girls, spending most of their time in useless wranglings over forms of entertainment, having nothing better to do than to see and speak of "some new thing", as the Greeks did at the Areopagus. These idle Russians spent hours on playing cards, seeing new theatrical stars, creating drama between each other (if there was no other form of amusement), visiting and comparing houses, taking lavish vacations to summer or winter homes, having affairs - and getting into luxurious debt. Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it?
Of course, Tolstoy doesn't shirk a candid look at the glorious peasants, either - who have a great deal of virtues and the same number of vices. They don't want to work hard at learning new tasks, are continually convinced that their masters are out to 'get them' even when fair wages are paid, break new tools because they're fearfully unfamiliar, and constantly excuse their shoddy work by saying that it's 'just the way things are' - using God as an excuse for their lack of effort. Their best faces show either at home, where they can be the lords and masters, or under pressure at harvest time - because it's been that way for many years, and there's comfort in peaceful stability. Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it?
Petsitting often reminds me that we were created for a purpose. Without the normal occupation of sheep-herding, bird-pointing or hunting down rabbits in wild fields, pet dogs often lead an uneventful and rather bored existence. They bark at everything passing the window because it's a break from routine, and because they have nothing to do. Going on a walk and eating are their favourite exercises - nearly their only exercises. Instead of being able to trail around with their masters on a farm (where they could chase cats or hunt rats in the barn without upsetting anyone), they get yelled at when they act up, because they are a form of amusement instead of a useful member of society with specified tasks.
Cats are the same - instead of being able to hunt down pests or spend hours in trees waiting to leap upon their prey, they sit at windows and stare at passers-by.....with unblinking feral eyes. They have fights with each other simply to have some excitement. They try to eat curtains, and make messes on rugs, nibble on your hair or lay on your computer keyboard, all to advertise: I'M BORED, PLAY WITH ME!!!! And they're cute for a while, chasing strings and getting themselves wrapped up in your laundry, and rustling in paper bags....but eventually they get to the stage where they just try to sit in the best sunny spots and snarl if you use their favourite cushion. Life would actually be more exciting for them if they had to stay one step ahead of their pursuers. Makes me think of a Simon & Garfunkel song about keeping the customers satisfied: "one step ahead of the shoe-shine, two steps away from the county line...."
There's an interesting warning in Jeremiah 17: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited...those who depart from me shall be written in the earth..."
The difference between people who are doing work to God's glory, and those who are merely filling up their days without purpose, has to do with whether or not they understand what's happening behind the seemingly meaningless tasks. God's character traits of order, cleanliness, beauty, generosity, creativity, magnificence....can all be seen in His created earth. And if we, His small reflections, are merely casting around for ways in which to waste time instead of use it, that seems a crime against His commands and our very natures. That's why people who fritter away existence with gossip and pleasure and 'busy nothings' seem shriveled in soul. If they want the earth that badly, they'll get it - and that's all they'll get. What a waste!
But consider what life would really be like if we had nothing that we HAD to do. What would happen to our time? Would we spend endless hours searching for amusement among each other, spend time making social calls and hosting dinner parties with no real purpose, other than to while away the long hours and keep boredom at bay?
Anna Karenina is one of my favourite books - not because of the horrors of the slow moral decay of a woman given to adultery, but because of the wealth of detail that Tolstoy uses to describe a privileged people. The noble Russians under the czars were apparently a nation of playboys, and girls, spending most of their time in useless wranglings over forms of entertainment, having nothing better to do than to see and speak of "some new thing", as the Greeks did at the Areopagus. These idle Russians spent hours on playing cards, seeing new theatrical stars, creating drama between each other (if there was no other form of amusement), visiting and comparing houses, taking lavish vacations to summer or winter homes, having affairs - and getting into luxurious debt. Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it?
Of course, Tolstoy doesn't shirk a candid look at the glorious peasants, either - who have a great deal of virtues and the same number of vices. They don't want to work hard at learning new tasks, are continually convinced that their masters are out to 'get them' even when fair wages are paid, break new tools because they're fearfully unfamiliar, and constantly excuse their shoddy work by saying that it's 'just the way things are' - using God as an excuse for their lack of effort. Their best faces show either at home, where they can be the lords and masters, or under pressure at harvest time - because it's been that way for many years, and there's comfort in peaceful stability. Sounds rather familiar, doesn't it?
Petsitting often reminds me that we were created for a purpose. Without the normal occupation of sheep-herding, bird-pointing or hunting down rabbits in wild fields, pet dogs often lead an uneventful and rather bored existence. They bark at everything passing the window because it's a break from routine, and because they have nothing to do. Going on a walk and eating are their favourite exercises - nearly their only exercises. Instead of being able to trail around with their masters on a farm (where they could chase cats or hunt rats in the barn without upsetting anyone), they get yelled at when they act up, because they are a form of amusement instead of a useful member of society with specified tasks.
Cats are the same - instead of being able to hunt down pests or spend hours in trees waiting to leap upon their prey, they sit at windows and stare at passers-by.....with unblinking feral eyes. They have fights with each other simply to have some excitement. They try to eat curtains, and make messes on rugs, nibble on your hair or lay on your computer keyboard, all to advertise: I'M BORED, PLAY WITH ME!!!! And they're cute for a while, chasing strings and getting themselves wrapped up in your laundry, and rustling in paper bags....but eventually they get to the stage where they just try to sit in the best sunny spots and snarl if you use their favourite cushion. Life would actually be more exciting for them if they had to stay one step ahead of their pursuers. Makes me think of a Simon & Garfunkel song about keeping the customers satisfied: "one step ahead of the shoe-shine, two steps away from the county line...."
There's an interesting warning in Jeremiah 17: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man, and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited...those who depart from me shall be written in the earth..."
The difference between people who are doing work to God's glory, and those who are merely filling up their days without purpose, has to do with whether or not they understand what's happening behind the seemingly meaningless tasks. God's character traits of order, cleanliness, beauty, generosity, creativity, magnificence....can all be seen in His created earth. And if we, His small reflections, are merely casting around for ways in which to waste time instead of use it, that seems a crime against His commands and our very natures. That's why people who fritter away existence with gossip and pleasure and 'busy nothings' seem shriveled in soul. If they want the earth that badly, they'll get it - and that's all they'll get. What a waste!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
The Unwinnable Scenario
There are words in a woman's vocabulary, besides "we need to talk", that ought to send a thinking man screaming out the door. They are this: "I'm going on a diet."
At first glance, you would think that this would bring joy and delight into a man's heart. Yes, she has said it! And without him having to point out that she has blossomed past the blushing bride of yore! But no. As with most woman things, what is on the surface is farthest from the truth.
The truth is that this woman who sits by him in the car, steely-eyed, vowing that she is by gum NOT going to give in like those other times, no, she really is going to hunker down and do it - get that nasty weight off - is now the Enemy of Fat. Being a new Crusader, she hunts it down and makes it scream for mercy - but not just in her own life. Now conversations with friends and neighbors will focus on this topic, and with herself in the mirror ("THINK before you eat that ice cream bar, for heaven's sake!!"). So instead of enjoying evenings of comfort with his wife on the couch, watching harmless re-runs of "CSI" or "The Ghost Weeper" to make her happy - no, he's got to hear huffing and puffing as she flings his favorite drinks and snacks out of cupboard and fridge. These are grunts of anger and war, and though she may say it tactfully (she is a good wife), there will be sideways comments for him as well. "Do you know how many calories are in that soda?" or the educational kiss of death: "Did you know that in some cultures, tofu is considered just as good as meat? I think we should go international today."
For women are never content to do anything just by themselves. Men comment on this when women go in a gaggle to the bathroom, or when they can't even go outside in a simple dress without hailing a passer-by for an opinion.....if they can't get it at home, that's always an option. "HEY! You there! Should I wear the red flats or the black sandals?" Somehow, men don't realize that this togetherness trend never ends.
Unlike when she gets pregnant, there will be no great advantage when the diet ends, because it never does. Instead of a pregnancy giving way to a bouncing happy child after nine months of labour, the diet never ends and never produces anything other than a thinner wife. But even then, the future fear of putting the weight back on is ever-present. The child is at least a form of entertainment, whereas diets often mean that entertainment and jollity must be put on hold for extra mood swings and black looks at Burger King signs. Not to mention crying. ("I STILL can't fit into that dress!!!")
And men, you already know that you can't stop her. Even if you try to tell her that she looks fine and doesn't NEED to diet, she will counter with feelings ("but I don't FEEL fine!"), personal projections ("I saw you looking at that thin girl in the mall!"), challenges ("Are you saying you don't think I can do it?") or silence while she thinks all these things but refuses to say them. So as a female, I release you to give a hearty "Amen" to your wife's project: "I think that's great, honey, you go ahead and do that."
But don't you dare say that in my presence. Man, have you NO sense?! I'm going on a diet.
At first glance, you would think that this would bring joy and delight into a man's heart. Yes, she has said it! And without him having to point out that she has blossomed past the blushing bride of yore! But no. As with most woman things, what is on the surface is farthest from the truth.
The truth is that this woman who sits by him in the car, steely-eyed, vowing that she is by gum NOT going to give in like those other times, no, she really is going to hunker down and do it - get that nasty weight off - is now the Enemy of Fat. Being a new Crusader, she hunts it down and makes it scream for mercy - but not just in her own life. Now conversations with friends and neighbors will focus on this topic, and with herself in the mirror ("THINK before you eat that ice cream bar, for heaven's sake!!"). So instead of enjoying evenings of comfort with his wife on the couch, watching harmless re-runs of "CSI" or "The Ghost Weeper" to make her happy - no, he's got to hear huffing and puffing as she flings his favorite drinks and snacks out of cupboard and fridge. These are grunts of anger and war, and though she may say it tactfully (she is a good wife), there will be sideways comments for him as well. "Do you know how many calories are in that soda?" or the educational kiss of death: "Did you know that in some cultures, tofu is considered just as good as meat? I think we should go international today."
For women are never content to do anything just by themselves. Men comment on this when women go in a gaggle to the bathroom, or when they can't even go outside in a simple dress without hailing a passer-by for an opinion.....if they can't get it at home, that's always an option. "HEY! You there! Should I wear the red flats or the black sandals?" Somehow, men don't realize that this togetherness trend never ends.
Unlike when she gets pregnant, there will be no great advantage when the diet ends, because it never does. Instead of a pregnancy giving way to a bouncing happy child after nine months of labour, the diet never ends and never produces anything other than a thinner wife. But even then, the future fear of putting the weight back on is ever-present. The child is at least a form of entertainment, whereas diets often mean that entertainment and jollity must be put on hold for extra mood swings and black looks at Burger King signs. Not to mention crying. ("I STILL can't fit into that dress!!!")
And men, you already know that you can't stop her. Even if you try to tell her that she looks fine and doesn't NEED to diet, she will counter with feelings ("but I don't FEEL fine!"), personal projections ("I saw you looking at that thin girl in the mall!"), challenges ("Are you saying you don't think I can do it?") or silence while she thinks all these things but refuses to say them. So as a female, I release you to give a hearty "Amen" to your wife's project: "I think that's great, honey, you go ahead and do that."
But don't you dare say that in my presence. Man, have you NO sense?! I'm going on a diet.
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